Dream, 18th April, Anonymous

I’ve realised to my horror that I have a mortgage on a house I had forgotten about that is derelict and unsellable and has too many rooms; I found it on my bank statement; there has been outgoing money for years without my noticing; I regret the impulsive decision I must have made and forgotten about until now. I can’t understand how I have not noticed the outgoing money draining my account for years.

I have a recurrent dream about a mansion flat I have bought that has too many rooms and is in Brutalist style a bit like Barbican but when you go out onto the terrace it has amazing view of the countryside even though it is in central London. It would have been very plush and luxy when first decorated but is musty and unloved now. It has too many rooms and is furnished in 1960s style and everything needs refreshing and it is all too much and too expensive and much too great a commitment financially. It has an indoor swimming pool that is full of algae and I don’t know how to get it cleaned. My father falls in and I have to jump into the foetid water to rescue him. 

It has a secret passage that takes me to my childhood bedroom but the stairs to get there become increasingly narrow so I get stuck and cannot ascend or descend. Then it has a fireplace and behind where the fire should be I realise there is an aperture and it takes you into an endless network of underground tunnels that no one else knows about. 

I’m aware that Tehran have fired missiles and I have to find a place to shelter and I am advised to stay where there are no windows and I worry it will be a nuclear bomb and so I go under my childhood bed to try and find a pair of RedWing boots I used to wear in my early 20s; think this will be safer to wear fir the fallout on the ground. I think there might be a windowless cupboard nearby to shelter but I am not sure if I get up to look whether I might be too late and caught by a bomb on the way or if the place in the cupboard might be already taken by somebody.