Dream, 14th May, Anonymous

The dream started midway through a story, and I had remarried my ex-husband, who was quite abusive and OCD and everything had to be done his way. “My way or the highway” was his favourite saying. We lived in an apartment in New York, and it was wood – oak panelled and kind of a railroad flat with rooms connecting to rooms without hallways, but there was a central hallway with a huge sculpture of glass that I could not see, but I knew about from the marriage. I hated it. It was cheesy and not pretty – an alcohol bottle but three feet tall. He had a special cabinet built for it. The apartment was his, but it was going to be turned into a disco or party house after dinner, and it was my job to serve dinner. Maybe the
disco would be for my daughters who would be having a party. I was trying to make and serve a formal dinner for his friends and family. They were old and from Eastern Europe, had escaped the Holocaust by coming here in the 1920s, and they were very heavy and wanted heavy food, which I had learned to make. It was a formal dining room, and I was trying to set the table with my great
grandmother’s silverware – she was from the US South, so it would have been from slave years and their plantation. Very refined and decorated silver. So I went back to the kitchen and was trying to cook, and it was coming out, but I also had to serve like a proper servant, and I thought he should have hired or kept a cook or a server if he wanted it done like this. I am not a cook or a server or a
slave. But I was trying to do it the way he wanted it, so I brought out the food, and I had forgotten to set the table with plates, so there was nothing to put the food on to and he started yelling at me. I felt completely inept. Somewhere in the background I heard the shattering of the giant sculpture, and he ran. He had taken away my cell phone, but I found someone else’s, and it was an old flip
phone, but I knew how to use it. I called my divorce lawyer who had gotten me out the last time and I was in the broom closet screaming and crying that I know I made a huge mistake coming back, so please get me out of it again.